Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
