I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
