Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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