Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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