We're like a lot better than the average bears
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I will pee on everything he values.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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