It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
