I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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