Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
