Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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