Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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