My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
