I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
