She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
