Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
