I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
