lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
