my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
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I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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