I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
