He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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