I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
