covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
