so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
