i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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