If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
