Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
