Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
did i just pee glitter
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
