There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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