I hate all girls vehemently.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
