...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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