Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
