im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
