The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
