i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
