Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
