and next time when you feel me up, do it right
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I understand Curling. That high.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
