Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i think i have herpe
just one?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm getting married
To pizza
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
