Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
