after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
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Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You need a sexual gate keeper
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
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The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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