I'm eating all of the evidence.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
