Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
