Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize