I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize