some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
