It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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