Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
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just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
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Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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