ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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