It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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