from now on my penis is your penis
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
