I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
