Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
