On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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