Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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