I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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