did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize