then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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