Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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