Christians are straight up FREAKS
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
