i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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