Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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