please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
